The Advice shared by A Dad That Helped Me as a New Father

"In my view I was merely in survival mode for twelve months."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to handle the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth quickly became "utterly different" to his expectations.

Severe health complications around the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was forced into becoming her chief support as well as caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… every stroll. The job of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

After 11 months he reached burnout. That was when a conversation with his father, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he required support.

The direct phrases "You are not in a good place. You must get assistance. In what way can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to talk openly, look for assistance and start recovering.

His experience is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now better used to addressing the stress on mums and about post-natal depression, less is said about the challenges new fathers face.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his challenges are symptomatic of a wider reluctance to communicate among men, who often absorb negative perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets hit and stays upright time and again."

"It's not a display of failure to seek help. I failed to do that soon enough," he explains.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, says men can be reluctant to accept they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not justified to be seeking help" - most notably ahead of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental well-being is vitally important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the opportunity to ask for a respite - taking a few days away, away from the home environment, to gain perspective.

He understood he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings as well as the logistical chores of caring for a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd failed to notice "what she longed for" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has transformed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan believes these will enable his son to better grasp the language of emotion and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen was without reliable male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" bond with his dad, long-standing trauma resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says repressing feelings resulted in him make "poor decisions" when in his youth to modify how he felt, turning in drink and drugs as escapism from the hurt.

"You gravitate to substances that are harmful," he notes. "They may short-term modify how you feel, but they will ultimately make things worse."

Strategies for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you feel swamped, confide in a family member, your spouse or a counsellor what you're going through. This can to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - continue with the activities that helped you to feel like you before becoming a parent. Examples include playing sport, socialising or gaming.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - eating well, staying active and where possible, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mental state is coping.
• Connect with other new dads - hearing about their stories, the challenges, along with the joys, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Remember that requesting help does not mean you've failed - prioritising yourself is the best way you can care for your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they do "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the emotions safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become more balanced, healthier men because they acknowledged their struggles, transformed how they talk, and taught themselves to control themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I wrote, at times I think my role is to teach and advise you what to do, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering an equal amount as you are through this experience."