I'm Known As the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.
The action icon is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35-year mark this holiday season.
The Story and An Iconic Moment
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who poses as a schoolteacher to locate a fugitive. During the movie, the crime storyline functions as a loose framework for Arnold to film humorous moments with his young class. Arguably the most famous belongs to a student named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and declares the former bodybuilder, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “Thank you for that information.”
The boy behind the line was portrayed by child star Miko Hughes. His career included a notable part on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the character of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects on the horizon. Additionally, he frequently attends the con circuit. Recently recalled his memories from the filming of the classic 35 years later.
Memories from the Set
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're snapshots. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would take me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, be seen, be in there briefly, read a small part they wanted and that was it. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was extremely gentle. He was enjoyable. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a good work environment. He was fun to be around.
“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I knew he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I was eager to interact with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd show his strength and we'd be hanging off. He was incredibly giving. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the coolest device, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being positive?
You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the legendary director, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all little kid memories.
The Line
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it was more of a collaboration, but they worked on it while filming and, presumably it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Let me think about it, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. She really wrestled with it. She said she wasn't sure, but she believed it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.